A misunderstanding.

Aus: Conductor Lakdi ka pool. Ek.
Conductor: Yeh lo.






pic from here

Is the movie "The President is coming" about the Clinton-Lewinsky affair?

Give me puberty or give me death.
or
How I failed the examination.

It was class 11, hormones were in the air. Unfortunately so were other things, those unmentionable things that, in my book*, rank somewhere between the bubonic plague and castration and somewhere above dental extractions (without local anesthesia- kyon ki hum "local" cheez istemaal nahin karte hain). I, am talking about Maths exams.

Now if you are one of those enthu cutlets who says "Hey! exams are fun ya, especially Maths exam bring on the differential equations" or "what's a bit of trigonometry, I model stochastic processes and work on Quantum superposition while i am asleep- When I am awake I don't use sissy tools like computers and so on do perform Monte Carlo analysis- I can do it with pencil and paper.". You sir/madam will be severely beaten with a hawaii chappal, size 10 (India size, USA 11.5 and Europe 45.5), not just for being good at Mathematics, but for merely existing. You sir are a disgrace to the human race, you are not an enthu cutlet- but a chut pakoda.

Back to the mid-late 90's.

tan  had ruined my sleep. It had invaded my dreams, wet or otherwise. I wondered if it were a "sin" to dream about trigonometry that way. It was not so much about me doing nasty things to trigonometry, it was things being the other way around that worried me. That was "cos" I was so bad at it you see. Somehow I did manage to study. I was fairly confident that I would manage to achieve the previously unimaginable 'zenit" of 35%. To butcher a Beatles song- All you need is to pass.
However fate and hormones had other plans in store.


Before going further let me explain the seating arrangements we sat in the made in the assembly hall of the school that allegedly used to double up as the prep room in the old days....much before I was there. The hall was named after one of the old Angrez principals, but that is besides the point. So, we had half the rows of seats (along with tables of course) facing East and half the rows facing West. I was on the last row that was facing east. I could see the faces of all the blokes who were on the last row facing west. Lucky sods weren't taking Maths.

People who know me will tell you that I have a tendency to keep looking "here and there" be it a class, a concert, a play, a cricket match or even an exam. Suddenly my eyes stopped. There- a few rows in front of me was this girl let us call her umm. M. M was kind of hot. She was sitting in a very funny way, I could look up a lot of her skirt, and when she crossed and uncrossed her legs one could see a lot lot more. .There were two of us who chanced on this view at the same time, the other guy was sitting right behind me. Horny 15 year old boys being horny 15 year old boys., our jaws dropped, our tongues hung out and a puddle of drool collected on the floor. M would periodically look up and smile at us louts for some strange reason. Both of us (the guy behind me and yours truly) failed the exam, and were in the race for the bottom of the class.

And that Ladies and Gentlemen was how I failed an examination for the first time. I subsequently got used to it.


* - Book published by S.Chand publishers. S.Chand books for all.

Andy Rawdick? After almost 4 hours what do you expect?

Porn on the 4th of July.

Yank my doodle. Dandy.

This is a song Called Achcha Shirt Siya from the Album Deccani Hits.
Singers Shabbir Dange, Bashakhan Bijapur, Nizam(no not Osman Pasha- Cd cover is damaged where his surname is printed.), Saira Bano, and Mangala. Music : Maruti Mirjkar
Lyrics Shabbir Dange, Bashakhan Bijapur, Nizam

B: (in fake american accent): Oh our university works on the quarter system, you don't have such ahem. things in India no.
A: (in fake country accent):Aan. Ess. But in our caalezu we have quarter system, morning morning before class we put off one quarter and go sit.

If you are an Electrical Engineer in the Army, are you soldering and soldiering at the same time?

You know I'm Bad.

Micheal Jackson died today. I was a great fan when I was a kid, I remember the first tape I ever bought: Well the non Preeti Sagar nursery rhyme kind at least. I wanted to buy MJ's Bad, but my dad who took me to Music Palace on S.D Road (they sold music then) bribed me (by promising to buy me a new "Noddy" book at Book Land [ used to be under Hari Hara Kala Bhavan]) to buy Simon and Garfunkel instead. Knowing which side of my bread was buttered on, I picked S&G (S&G is a whole different post), but I couldn't quite forget BAD so the next time some event came along, I asked for it, Unfortunately, the chaps at the shop had run out of bad (so they didn't have any david hasselhoff tapes either), but sold me a tape that had the best of MJ in it. By this I do not mean the "best" of mj "in it", but you know and I was happy.
When the next album, Dangerous came out,I was thrilled, I went all over Chennai to find it. Some of the videos in this album had basketball players in them. Jam had MJ and Jordan playing basketball. "You remember the time" had Eddie Murphy and Naomi Campbell as well as Magic Johnson in it. This was about the time Magic announced that he was HIV+ve. Who would have thought that he'd outlive MJ.

Alas, it was all downhill after this for MJ. He might have taken these lines from Bad a little too seriously.

"Your Butt Is Mine
Gonna Take You Right
Just Show Your Face
In Broad Daylight"

Heard recently


Arey What is with this economy- Employees everywhere are getting laid off, except Shiney Ahuja's employees, they are just getting laid.

What is Shiney's sexual orientation
Bai-sexual

I flew Continental ..but they served Indian food.Also I have "Jet" Lag

Recycled Post.


Saturday, July 02, 2005
Monsoon.

Aah, I love the rain.Especially when I am nice and dry in my house.I have the same opinion of the cold, the heat, and if there is something I missed out I probably have the same opinion of that as well.
What I do not love is standing at a bus stop waiting for a bus when its pissing rain.Sudden downpour, as if some one pulled the flush lever on a toilet.It leaves the roads slushy, with drains flooding and sewage mixing freely with rain water (rain water and drain water become one.Reminds me of 'Mile sur mera tumhara"or even "Mile sewer mera tumhara" ).Suddenly a bus appears, and in the following riot that ensues, a least four people get pushed into the muck, those are the lucky ones.If you've ever traveled in a jam packed bus in the rain, you will know what I mean. the wonderful mixture of smells that waft your way are the least of your problems, the most annoying thing is the drops of water leaking from the roof that fall on the most uncomfortable of places..like a Chinese water drip torture. one can almost imagine Fu-Manchu laughing and rubbing his hands together with relish (why not mayonnaise asks my mother.Now you can see Mendel had a point.).So,if you are one of those who says "I love the rains" you should probably take a trip in an overcrowded APSRTC bus,that should prove to be an interesting experience.

Beta testing is when your son writes his exams?

Excuse me , but I don't think that when they said Air Commodore they were referring to the entrance to the lavatory on the new Airbus A380.

We are the knights who say Ni Amma. Thoo!

Scotch Tape: For those who cannot hold their liquor.

Look look, Appam Chutiya is at it again
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Potpourri/Leave-me-alone-Daisy/articleshow/4491005.cms

Confucius say: Closed mouth gathers no foot.

One of reasons that have been put forward for the KKR's dismal performance is, hold your breath (you will see why), Swine Flu. Well what do you expect, when the owner is such a "ham".

I knew they could find the self destruct button if they looked hard enough. Back to their old ways?

Check this out!